why nobody cares about my feelings

Why Nobody Cares About My Feelings?

“I feel like no one cares about me anymore”

“Why do I have no friends?”

“Why no one wants me in their life?”

“I feel like no one loves me”

“I have no one to talk to about my feelings”

“Who cares about me?”

“Why no one likes me”

“Why nobody cares about me?”

Have you ever gone through such thoughts?

Have you ever asked such questions to yourself or others?

I’m sure, you must have, at least once.

So, what to do when you feel that no one loves you or you think nobody cares about your feelings?

It’s time to introspect and contemplate.

Friends, what I am going to talk about now, might sound rude or harsh, but believe me, it’s the truth of life. And the sooner you realize it, you’ll be more comfortable with yourself and eventually with your life.

You might be doing one or more than one of the following things.

1. Everybody is trying to get their sh*t together

You need to understand that everybody on this earth is trying to get their sh*t together. And obviously, nobody wants to add your sh*t to theirs.

Everybody is going through his/her own struggles and challenges in life, you are not going through something unique.

If you think you have suffered and struggled enough…

If you think your struggle is bigger than others…

If you think life has been unfair to you…

You believe that you deserve sympathy for that…

And you wonder “Why no one wants me in their life?”

What to do then?

Remember, everyone is struggling in one way or the other and you cannot compare whose struggle is bigger.

If you’ll show compassion for others, they will start caring about your struggles too and help you out. And you’ll no longer feel that “nobody cares about me”.

2. You think you are ‘Special’

You might think that you have certain privileges and others must give attention to you. Nobody on this planet owes you anything which can force them to listen to you.

Some frequently post “no one cares about me quotes” or “quotes about being hurt by someone close to you” on Facebook or Instagram.

People might pretend by liking or commenting but they won’t give a damn about what you think or feel.

Accept the reality, you or I am not the president or a celebrity. We think you are too important and people should give due importance to us.

But in reality, nobody cares about me or you.

What to do then?

Instead of seeking special privileges, try to make others feel special. And you’ll no longer have a complaint of “I have no friends who can listen to me or no one loves me”.

3. You are an “I know it all” guy

Believe me, if you think that you know everything, the first thing people will do is to start ignoring you.

This infuses arrogance and makes you ignorant. It stops your learning.

People will stop sharing knowledge and their views with you.

What to do then?

“The dumbest people I know are those who know it all” ~ Malcolm Forbes

Show the curiosity to learn something new and appreciate when someone shares their knowledge with you.

4. You don’t listen

If you are the person who always has his/her tall tale to tell instead of listening to others, people will get bored with you.

And then you keep saying “I have no one to talk to about my feelings”.

What to do then?

The easiest way to make someone feel important is to listen to them.

And if you don’t listen to people at all, you are disrespecting them, you are insulting them, you are making them feel less important.

Dale Carnegie shares in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, how listening is a very important tool. I too have experimented this thing in my personal life. And I must say, it has helped me a lot in building rapport with people and establish my authority with them.

It might sound strange that how can you raise your own respect by listening more and speaking less. But it’s true.

The moment you understand this, it will be very easy for you to win hearts.

5. You always play a ‘Victim’

You always keep complaining about people and situations like a nagger. For whatever goes wrong in your life, you have someone or something to blame.

You always show yourself as a victim of destiny and keep on asking, “Why me?”

By doing so, you become a prisoner of your own limitations.

You emanate negative energy which repels people around you and you feel lonely. That exponentially increases your negative energy.

Tony Robbins says, Life is not happening to you, it’s happening for you. and explains in his best selling book Awaken the Giant Within

Whatever happens in your life is not something being done to you, it is a process of shaping you as a person, a greater human being. It’s your life in the making.

What to do then?

Stop comparing your life with others. Take a lead, take charge of your life and shape the way you want it rather than constantly nagging about it.

6. You are a ‘Poking Machine’

Someone pokes you and you shout. You are always reacting to people and situations without using your brain.

You give your remote control to others. You let others control your state of mind and you dance to their tune. Don’t let anybody drive you crazy or  go gaga. Keep the control with you.

This is a very bad situation because you don’t even realize that you are suffering from this problem.

So, people around you see you as one unstable person, an active volcano which might erupt any time. And that’s the reason people don’t want to listen to you.

What to do then?

Take a pause, step back, think and respond, not just react.

7. You are the ‘Problem Guy’

You always focus more on the problem rather than the solution to that problem. Instead of thinking about the solution, you first try to find the culprit whom you can blame for the problem.

You keep telling that “this should not have happened” rather than helping out others “how it could have been prevented or how it can be resolved now”.

When you cling on to the problem or you are the cause of the problem, people tend to avoid you. But when you try to find solutions to problems or become part of the solution, people start loving you.

What to do then?

Become the ‘Solution Guy’. Help people in finding solutions. By doing so, you will start attracting people like a magnet.

8. You always try to avoid pain

Do you always try to avoid pain or struggle in life?

Is seeking pleasure the main motive for you, behind doing things?  

If yes, then people around you might perceive you as someone who is mean.

In life, if you are in pursuit of something meaningful, then you will never try to avoid pain or seek pleasure. You will always try to seek meaning and understand how you can add value to yours as well as the life of others.

Running away from pain means that you will never go that extra mile to do something better neither for yourself nor for someone else. That’s the reason almost everyone avoids such people.

What to do then?

Become someone who enjoys pain and struggle. Learn from it and grow through them to become a better version. People will not only love you, but it will also be the best thing you can do for yourself.

9. Your emotions drive you Crazy

When you give too much attention to your emotions, you become highly unreliable and lose trust factor.

Having emotions is good but letting them control you every single time is neither good for you nor for people around you.

Anyone can behave sensibly in a good mood or when they are happy but it takes a lot of effort to conduct in a proper way when you don’t feel well. And that’s a real test.

People who get overpowered by their emotions every now and then are rarely taken seriously by anybody.

What to do then?

Learn to use emotions to your benefit rather letting them control you.  

If you find yourself hit by strong emotions like sadness, anger, depression, hurt, rage, frustration, avoid making important decisions or having discussions with people at that time.

Delay it, take time, try to stabilize yourself and then decide.

10. You always try to change others

Do you think that every problem in your life will get solved if people around you change themselves in a certain way?

If yes, then you are on your way to irritate people around you and making them least interested in you.

Remember one thing, you can neither change people nor control how they behave completely.

What to do then?

Do not try to change people.

If you really want someone to behave in a certain way, create a positive environment in which that person can behave appropriately.

But remember the fact, that you can just influence someone up to an extent but can’t change them. So, don’t waste your energy. Otherwise, they will look at you as their enemy. 

11. You judge too quickly and label people

Are you the person who quickly makes a judgment about people?

Do you keep distributing character certificates to each and every person you meet?

It happens because, in general, you just believe what you see.

If you do so, people will feel insecure to be around you or speak to you.

Nobody wants to be judged or be under constant surveillance. And gradually people will start to keep a distance from you.

Judging people by their behavior is human nature but wise people don’t make it a habit to comment about someone’s character or personality.

What to do then?

Try to go beyond your perception. Judge less, witness more. Understand this, that nobody is perfect and everyone is trying to do their best.

If you want to appreciate do it asap but if you want to criticize someone, think twice and if it’s necessary, then share it in person.

12. You prefer receiving than giving

Do you always expect to receive favors, support, appreciation and so on from others? And you believe it’s your privilege?

On the other hand, you feel reluctant to reciprocate the same to others, then you are creating a very toxic environment not just for you but for others around you.

Every interaction in this world is a transaction irrespective of relationship.

If you are always taking but not giving, nobody would want to listen to or be with you.

What to do then?

Before you ask for a favor or expect anything from others, think about what you have given or you can give. If nothing, at least try to give some respect and love.

13. You run away from your own sh*t

You accept it or not, but you know what is your weakness and where you need to work to become better.

But looking at the hard work, sometimes you tend to ignore that or you are scared to face it and deal with it.

And when you do it consistently, people around you feel it.

They will stop giving you constructive feedbacks because they will understand that it is of no use.

Gradually, they’ll stop listening to your problems or stop taking you seriously. Because they know that you are not going to take any actions, so what is the use of wasting their energy on providing the solution.

What to do then?

Get comfortable with your own sh*t. Your own negatives and weaknesses. Instead of avoiding or ignoring them, face them and improve yourself with time.

14. You always seek certainty and are a control freak

It is a human nature that we want to plan everything and want to be certain about it to make your life comfortable.

But what’s the point of living if you know what’s going to happen next?

Do you like a predictable movie or the one that has uncertainties, suspense, twists, and turns?

Obviously, the latter one. Right?

Then, why do you want to control every single situation in your life?

If you behave like a control freak, even your loved ones will get irritated with you.

What to do then?

Accept and acknowledge the fact that you can plan but you may or may not be able to control what happens in your life. However, you can always control how you respond and how you maintain your mental state.

So, become comfortable with uncertainties in life.

If things go your way, be grateful. If not, analyze learn from it and move ahead graceful.

15. You think you are ‘Immortal’

You might love to plan your life or behave in a way that you are going to live forever but that’s not the case.

Remember, you are mortal and you’ll be gone anytime.

This might be intimidating but that’s the ultimate truth of life.

When you forget that you tend to start thinking about just yourself and your needs. You hold grudges and keep complaining. You get carried away with your emotions or circumstances.

And gradually, you become mean to people and lose the essence of a true relationship with them.

What to do then?

Remember, this life is very fragile and we don’t know when we are gone forever. This human body comes with an expiry date too.

Therefore, whatever life You and I are left with, must be spent to make it meaningful and joyful. Find your passion and add value to people’s life.

Try to look at the bigger picture of your life

16. You always label things as Right or Wrong

If you think that for someone to be right, other has to be wrong, then you need to understand that there could be two right things and both can be different.

There is not always only one truth. There can be more than one versions of the truth.

Remember, everyone is perceiving one thing or the other and they have their own version of the truth. And if you always consider your version as the correct truth and ignore others, people will stop showing interest in what you say.

What to do then?

Understand different versions, different perceptions and perspectives before reaching any conclusion. Consider them to decide what’s best for most of the people.

17. You always insult people

When you interact with people, you feel great to pull their leg, pass a witty comment, make fun of them or talk them down. Is it so?

During your college life, you must have enjoyed such things with your friends. Once in a while, it might be fine when you are with your close friends.

But making it a habit and always trying to win every argument or point by insulting others, is a very foolish thing to do. It makes them feel bad and insulted.

Imagine yourself in such a situation where you are treated this way. Will you feel good? Nobody want to be treated this way.

What to do then?

Remember, everybody is fighting their own battles, if you’ll show some love and compassion, they’ll feel good. And if they’ll feel good, they’ll listen to what you say and will take it seriously.

18. You speak ill about others

In your office, during a tea break, you might love to discuss about a colleague and do character assassination. You might enjoy criticising or talk ill about them behind their back.

But ask to your inner conscience, is it something right to do?

If you think someone is not doing something right, go and tell them rather than talking ill about them with others.

It not only creates negative energy in your work environment, but also shows you as a person.

Such a situation can happen anywhere, in your college, with friends or even in your family.

What to do then?

Don’t speak ill about anyone behind their back. It does no good to anyone. So, refrain from doing it.

If something is wrong, have the courage to go and talk to that person or just keep it to yourself.

Conclusion:

Wooh! Long list? 🙂

These are based on my personal experience with people. Although, you should not care too much what others think about you, but you cannot ignore it completely because you have to operate with people. You cannot operate in isolation.

How you make others feel about them, they will do the same with you. If you really want others to care about what you think and feel, try to touch their lives in whatever way you can.

Stop forcing people to understand you and your feelings, rather focus on becoming more self aware. Be a witness to life and experience it like you experience different tastes of food.

Always remember, that true freedom is not about doing whatever you want to do, it is about not getting affected by whatever happens to you. Take control of how you feel.

Expand your life, not by how much you have but how much you give. Look at the bigger picture of life.

Spread love and compassion because you don’t know the person you are talking is going through what kind of struggle in their life.

Share this article with the ones you truly care about and let me know which reason stands out for you, in the comment section.

 


Keshav Sharma

Amazon Best-Selling Author of Rewire for Massive Success Book. Founder and Chief Editor at Selfhelpiness.com.A Passionate Speaker, an Ardent Meditation Practitioner and an Explorer of Human Behaviour and Psychology. Already helped numerous people through workshops at corporate setting and Tata Strive Skill Development Centre.After learning it hard way through professional, personal and emotional challenges early in life, he is on a mission to help millions Rewire their lives for Massive Success through talks, seminars, workshops, and personal coaching.Email at [email protected] for consultation. Read more>>

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Vijay Kumar
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Hello
Your all content is unique from other sites. Thank you for sharing your all experience with us.

Glad to read your article.

Hope you are enjoying the day
-vj

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